So my friend Nina was like, I need two PAs for a music video shoot I'm doing. It will be fun, you guys just have to like deal with food and set up tents and stuff. So I'm like, OK. It will be like social anthropology. It'll be fun!
Let ME tell YOU: being a "production assistant" is NOTHING like being a stylist assistant/artist assistant. A "production assistant" is retarded "industry" jargon for SLAVE. It fucking sucked. Not to put too fine a point on it.
We had to LIFT and CARRY heavy band/sound/video equipment on and off a giant truck. We had to wrestle with giant "EZ shelters" of metal poles and zippers. We had to make a thousand stupid blinky lights with LEDs with sharp pointy wires and magnets so strong that I had to use MY TEETH to pry them apart. We had to listen to the same awful herrm band song over and over again. FOR FIFTEEN HOURS. OUTSIDE. WITH A WIND CHILL OF 20 DEGREES. Me and Tim were both bleeding by the end of the night. I think we had mild hypothermia. My feet were soaked. My fingers raw. Today my arms hurt so bad I almost fell off the bed coming down the ladder. I'm writing this and then we are pretending yesterday never happened. This is for posterity.
NOTE TO SELF: NEVER EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN. PROSTITUTE YOURSELF FIRST.
NOTE TO ASSHOLE DIRECTOR: While your sitting in your cushy Hollywood office, remember that JANUARY IN NEW YORK CITY is not the best time to shoot your music video ON A PIER.
No comments:
Post a Comment